Horror Holiday (1979) - This movie shows up on the B-side of the Snake in Monkey's Shadow DVD, and it sure lives up to its B-side status. No dubbing this time. Instead, we get badly translated subtitles. You'll love the challenge of guessing what the words hanging off the edge of the screen say.
The Plot: Our hero has a stomach ache and slips into a Hong Kong airport restroom, and while inside his stall, a man is attacked by a gang of four. After our hero's, um, rumblies pass, he comes out of his stall and almost walks past the blood-soaked man lying right outside his stall -- I guess he didn't see him -- when the dying man grabs his ankle and asks him to pull a roll of film from a secret compartment in his heel. No James Bondsian microdot here. Fuji 35mm by the looks of it.
Cheap-ass film or not, the bad guys want it back by any means necessary.
Favorite Parts: The henchmen. The main villain is bespectacled and rather normal looking in his Mao jacket, but his three henchman are truly special. The first guy wears hot pants and a "Let's Get Physical" headband. He also sports enough makeup to shame Olivia Newton John. Henchman number two thinks he's the Asian Che Guevara. Straggly beard, cigar, red beret and combat boots. The third wears a track suit which seems rather ordinary until you find out this swashbuckler carries a sword!
Other dandies: a car chase where everybody drives the speed limit, and an action sequence on a bus that surely inspired the makers of Speed.
Because I had to wait 41 minutes for any Kung Fu, I can only give Horror Holiday a three, one for each henchman.