Kung Fu Movies

Drunken Master (1978) - Not to be confused with 1994's The Legend of Drunken Master. This low-budget (okay zero-budget) classic has some of the most annoying dubbing I've ever heard, but even that can't keep Jackie Chan's charm down.

The plot: A very young and very mischievous Jackie Chan gets in trouble and is sent away by his father to learn from his drunkard uncle.

Favorite parts: Um, the fights. Duh. Jackie Chan is a rare athlete. All I can do is watch and be awed by his amazing skills. Plus the film has a timeless message - all your problems can be solved with jugfuls of booze.

Okay so let me ask you a question. Is it just me, or do all of you experience Jackie Chan movies the same way I do?

• Stage 1 (the "groaner" stage) - This is when the slapstick humor and ridiculously stilted dialogue makes you shake your head and groan.
• Stage 2 (the "give in to the sweetness" stage) - This is when, despite your better judgement, Jackie begins to win you over, the same way an overly sentimental Hallmark brings tears to your eyes after half a bottle of wine.
• Stage 3 (the "kick his ass, Jackie!" stage) - I'm Jackie's now.

Drunken Master earns five jugs of whatever wine he's drinking.